Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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