Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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