great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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