Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
