I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
