I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
