Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
