He disabled his match.com account in front of me
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
