i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
