i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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