was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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