Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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