hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
someone owes me an orgasm
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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