Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
