im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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