You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
