I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
