She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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