I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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