sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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