Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I can't put those talents on a resume
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We need to get me chipped asap
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