physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
