im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
