At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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