I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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