someone owes me an orgasm
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I want to fling myself into the sun
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
