worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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