You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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