Kiss
Puke
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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