So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
