Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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