So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
