just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
