I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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