Can i not drive my cunt home
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
