Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We're too hungover to prance.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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