He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
