Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i was born a porn star she said
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
