you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
