Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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