so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
