he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
