He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
