Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
