all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
