god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
