ya dads aren't the best wingmen
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
