i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
