it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
