we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
