He disabled his match.com account in front of me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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