HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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