I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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